today is going to be a good day :]

flew home.
back to where we met.
stayed inside.
i was so upset.
cooked up a plan so good except.
i was all alone.
you were all i had.
love you.
you were all mine.
love me.
i was yours right?



freaking stamps.
thats all i need.
& sleep.
which i'm getting ready for right now.

i got the best call tonight.
i need stamps.
like now.
:]

we're FRIENDS.
so please stop acting like i did something to hurt you.
:[

tonight was crazy.
like i went to work.
and i worked.
and this kid isn't acting like i killed him anymore.
so thats good :]
and then me & panda got in a crazy blizzard fight.
haha.
she got me with mint.
and cotton candy, and arctic rush stuff.
and i got her with cotton candy.
coffee.
and the other amanda got her with whipped cream.
it was pretty cool :]
the best night at work in a while.
i started to hate customers.
because they're all dumb.
but idk.
i think its getting a little better.
i hope.
and tomorrow should be fun.
maybe.
i hope it doesn't suck.
like tuesday almost did.
but then it got better.
geeze.
this is the most ridiculous thing i've ever been involved with.
and i know its going to blow up in my face.
but for some reason i still hope it won't.
idk.

im so excited to have 2 days off.
day one went good :]
my brother came over and we went to olive garden.
and i took a 2 hour nap :]]]]
which was like what i really needed.
and tomorrow should go good too.
some kid is supposed to come see me.
maybe :]
then im supposed to go to my old church.
i hope it doesn't end up like it did before.
i know mr. joe doesn't really like me still.
but thats whatever.
i don't really care.
i don't go there for him :]
and supposedly they're really learning about Jesus now.
so thats good :]
im [kind of] exited.
but then im not.
idk.
its weird lol.

school is still pretty gay.
but i guess its getting a little better.
maybe.
idk.

i just want you to at least pretend like you miss me.
a little.
whatever.
im so sick of caring about this.
i wish i could get one of those things from MIB.
geeze.
this is making me more and more depressed.
because he already has this new girl.
and he still has frances.
and it just makes me feel like i was nothing to him.
and i hate how everyone from work is making it sound like im being so dramatic about it.
and i haven't even said anything about him to anyone except aj in like a week.
aj is my favorite boy.
hands down.
hes the best boy ever.
like i love wesley and jizu and john and ryan.
but wesley could replace me in like 2 seconds, jizu is the same as pretty much everyone, john has a life that doesn't really involve me like at all, and i don't know ryan that much [i just think hes really nice, and really sweet and super funny]
aj is the only one that is sincere.
and when i tell him stuff, i never feel like hes going back and telling everyone what i just said.
school is going to suck.
because i've been putting off seeing derrick and all his little girlfriends for as long as i can, but at school its probably going to be right in my face.
great.
whatever.
i'll live.
this is just stupid.
and im sick of thinking about it.
i kinda wish i never would have gotten so close with the people at DQ.
all they've done is pretty much proved to me that people suck.
like i thought they were better, and made me better.
but it turned out completely different.
we had our fun.
and now its just drama.
and gay.

by the time you swear you're his.
shivering and sighing.
and he vows his passion is infinite, undying.
lady make a note of this:
  one of you is lying.

im not sure whats going on.
but i do know i miss this one boy.
its really stupid.
but oh well.

i just wish it wasn't so confusing  = /

well i lied.
i never gave you your pants back.
this is gonna end badly.
i can tell by the phone call you received at the clock.
and how you threw your phone against the wall when it was over.
but.
i.
don't.
care.
= ]

its only high school.
and by the time school starts back im sure it will be the same as it used to be.